3 Ways to Avoid Treadmill Ass

Is that a thing? Apparently. I had no idea until I received this text message from one of my pledge sisters:

Treadmill Ass

That was news to me. Actually, very upsetting news for my white girl ass. Thus, for my fellow squatters out there, here’s some tips for (hopefully) not falling victim to this (possibly) fictitious side effect.

  1. Use the incline. I know running on a treadmill sucks. I share that passionate hatred. And I know running on an incline sucks even more, but you know what sucks the most? Being skinny enough for your bathing suit, but your ass not filling out the bottoms. Start with incline 1.5.
  2. Squats, squats & more squats. Sure, you’ll waddle around the office for the next week, but again, don’t you wanna fill out that bathing suit?
  3. Run outside. I love running outside. I actually hate the treadmill (as stated above). But I also hate the cold. Thus, my hatred for the cold trumps my hatred for the treadmill and I find myself in the gym running on the hamster wheel during the cold months. But as soon as it warms up, I’m back outside. Maybe just up your squat game during the winter months.

These tips might or might not work, but they can’t hurt. If the rumors of treadmill ass are true. Side note: I even did a Google search and nothing came up except for one article, so take the credibility with a grain of salt.

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